Where do I start… Some sort of introduction, I suppose. Why am I writing this, who is it intended for, and such. This is intended for anyone who is struggling with overuse of porn and/or masturbation. Anyone who feels like they have broken their word a hundred times and they cannot get out of the vicious cycle of doom.
Why am I writing this? Because I’ve been there. A little, anyways. In order to understand my method, you must first understand my story, so here goes.
I’ll start in January 2017, for simplicity’s sake. Before that I certainly had overused porn and masturbation before, but I wasn’t aware that it was a problem for me. In fact, I would still say it wasn’t a very significant problem for me, rather a symptom of other underlying things that I have since changed and gotten through. (Mostly). Anyways, in January 2017, I was dating a wonderful girl in Thailand. We had an amazing sex life, far better than any sexual experiences I’ve ever had before. And one night, I watched porn and masturbated while she was sleeping in the other room. That’s when I realized that I had a problem with it, because to me, that was incredibly disgusting and unnatural.
I talked about porn with her, and we even tried to watch it together. That did NOT work. It was uncomfortable, awkward, and gross. I resolved to break that habit.
Keep in mind, that during the 5 months she and I dated while I lived in that part of the world, I PMO’d about 5-7 times total, and all but 2 or 3 were while I was on a short trip in another country. So, you still couldn’t say that I had a huge problem with it, but it was enough of a problem that it bothered me.
After that I didn’t travel anywhere away from her for the rest of my time there, and I didn’t relapse until I left in May. After my first flight I jerked off to porn in the bathroom of the airport, (it was super early, and no one was around). I was disgusted with myself again.
I had planned to “wean myself off of porn”, so I was to use it 3 times a week in May, 2 times a week in June, once a week in July, 3 times total in August, twice in September, and once in October before my birthday, and be porn free by the time I turned 20. At this time, I had no issue with masturbation at all.
The first week I was back, I did better than my plan for May, so I ditched the plan and started trying to build streaks. I had the NoFap app and subreddit close at hand, although I wasn’t fully accepting of the community. I didn’t believe in the “superpowers”.
May didn’t go well at all. I would break after just a few days and relapse in my work truck while out in the field. I would hate myself after that every time.
For June, I decided to allow about 3 masturbation sessions per week, and not watch porn. That didn’t go over as planned either, I PMO’d several times that month, most notably for 3 days in a row when I came to visit my friends for a holiday. Then, on July 1st I redoubled my resolve for the same plan, and I actually did pretty good.
I would masturbate probably 3-5 times a week without porn, and I was okay with that. The problem came on Sunday, July 30th. I had gone 30 days, I was 1 day away from making it an entire month. And I was alone and bored in my apartment. I started searching porn on Twitter, Instagram, Reddit…it was out of control. I was planning on not masturbating, as if that would make it okay. Saving it for August to “prove to myself” that I “didn’t have a problem”. Ha.
I ended up ended up jacking off to a video of my girlfriend, but that didn’t do anything to make me feel any less disgusting. I immediately deleted the twitter account, and the Instagram account I’d been looking at porn on. I went on NoFap Subreddit, and by some wonderful chance, or Fate if you want to call it that, I saw the posting for the Conquered Self NoPMO War II, which started the first week of August.
I went on the site, and I made an account and enlisted. I didn’t have any long-term plans, except to stop watching porn, but I agreed that I couldn’t masturbate without porn anymore, so I had to go all out. I was going to visit my girlfriend in 16 days, and I told myself if I couldn’t go that long I wasn’t worth the air I was breathing.
My first post on CS was asking if it was breaking the rules to have sex, and the general response was no, if it was with a loving partner it was encouraged. That was good, because after those 16 days I wasn’t about to visit my girlfriend and not do that when we were in a long-distance relationship. I had already been seeing signs of the relationship breaking, but we still were in love and I had already bought the ticket.
I learned a lot in that week when I was there. I went through heartbreak and joy and love, but when I left I was happy and at peace. We were still technically dating but on a “break”, mostly for her sake. She’s younger than me and had just moved off to college. I wanted her to be free and independent. I ended up more officially breaking it off a few weeks later, when I realized that I didn’t have enough money to visit her anymore.
Sometime during War II, my first war, I really resonated with the words of SolidStance. He was in Patience with me, and everything he wrote hit me deep in my core. I decided not to be a lurker, but to join the battle. I got into engaging and being active. I changed my name and created Agent Ghost, and I embraced the hard path of suffering and pain. After winning that war, I decided to “try it again, and see how it felt”. I’m sure you can all guess, it felt just as unsatisfying, fake, and disgusting as ever before. So, I enlisted for another war.
This war, since I had already won the previous one, I was cocky. PierceFranklin would post quests, and I would ignore them and make excuses. I didn’t need quests, I already knew I could win a war.
I went KIA on Day 12, the Tuesday after the Shitshow. And I was so ashamed and angry at myself. I was a veteran, encouraging others, and then I fell and became a hypocrite. I stayed around CS, but largely I fell off and was much less active. During that month of October and early November, I didn’t make it longer than a week or so, and sometimes I would PMO multiple days in a row.
But here’s a point WORTH NOTING. During that entire period of me being back in bed with PMO, I still went to the gym 5 days a week, and I still took cold showers ever day. I did wonderfully at school, and I excelled at my job, working 30 hours a week. I was very functional, and since I was single, PMO actually wasn’t a problem for me, any more than getting drunk on the weekends was. I was very functional. The only downside was every time I finished, I would feel even more lonely and pathetic. And that’s really my only true problem with PMO. It’s fake.
November 22nd, I decided I’d had enough of that. War IV was coming up, starting on Thanksgiving Day. I hit the fight hard that war and went all out. And that was when I truly developed the first two phases of this method. The third and final phase, I discovered midway through this War V.
Okay, that’s my story. As I’m posting this, I’m on Day 111 which is my favorite number. And this is when I officially delete NoPMO from my daily habits, not because I’m going to start doing it again, but because it is no longer a problem for me and I have many more important things to fill my thoughts and energy with. It is beneath me.
Now here’s the thing about this method: AT LEAST 90 % OF YOU DO NOT HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT THIS WAY. If you actually follow my method, you will conquer porn and masturbation, and make it look easy. The key is that you must actually follow my method, and you won’t. It’s too hard, it’s too painful, it’s too uncomfortable, and it’s way too intense for you.
In order for the Agent Ghost method to work, you must commit 111%. Body, mind, and soul, you must commit to this. It must become your #1 priority, over work, school, and everything else. (I will point out that it doesn’t actually take that much time, so it’s not like you have to sacrifice work or school; On the contrary, you are more focused and have more time for those things it seems. But still, this must be your #1 priority for you to succeed).
When I say commit 111%, I mean you have to follow everything without excuses. When it says to wake up, GTFO of bed. When it says read a book, dive in for 10 pages a day, and do it every day. Schedule it in, and no excuses. When it says to work out, go EVERY DAY unless you are dying. NO EXCUSES. I just had to say that again.
Okay with that disclaimer out of the way, we can get down to business. There are 3 phases of the Agent Ghost method of conquering PMO. Survival, Leadership, and Transcendence.
PHASE 1: SURVIVAL
We all start here. Struggling to get streaks longer than 3 days, probably using porn and masturbation multiple times a day every time we “relapse”, and most likely into some dark shit. Yes, it is time to leave that behind now. You start your first war. “Day 1 boys!” you shout with excitement. “I’m actually going to do it this time!” Are you? I doubt it. How many times have you said that before?
The first step in this process is to shut up. You’ve said that it would be your last relapse 100 times, saying it again only louder doesn’t mean shit. Don’t make some silly motivational post about how you’re suddenly changed. You’re not. Change takes time, so keep your mouth shut and avoid making yourself into a liar again. Keep your head down and get ready for the punches to start flying, but don’t brag yourself up. After the first 3 weeks you can think about making a report about how you’re doing it differently this time. But for now, all you should be worrying about is getting through each day.
How do you get through each day? I like to make things simple, so I’ve outlined a very simple list for you to follow each day. Easy? AHAHAHAHA! No. It is simple, but it is not easy. This is where you’re going to break the rules of the Agent Ghost method and you will set yourself up for failure. You will then probably feel sorry for yourself and think about how hard it is. And if I were around I would tell you to cry me a river. You’re in a WAR, you should act like a soldier. So, no whining and no excuses. If you’re gonna do this, you have to want it bad enough to be willing to endure anything.
Daily Routine for Success
-Wake up before 06:00
-Take a freezing cold shower
-Meditation
-Check In on CS
-Get out of the House
-Stay Busy
-Work Out
-Discipline your internet use
-Power Down before bed
-Cold shower before bed
-Go to sleep 7-8 hours before you wake up
-Rinse and Repeat
Now I’ll analyze those in more detail.
WAKE UP BEFORE 06:00: Why? There are too many reasons to list here, but in terms of PMO fighting, this tactic will naturally make you feel more like a soldier, as well as strengthen your discipline. Also, it will shift your schedule to give you less dangerous time in the evening for you to be naughty.
And when I say wake up before then, I mean GET OUT OF BED. Your alarm should be across the room from you, and you should get out of bed like you’re being shot at every morning. Now you’re out of bed, and you’re so tired and sleepy, huh? You don’t get to go back in bed anymore, you have a war to win. Get in the shower!
Here’s another thing. You don’t get to bring your phone to bed with you anymore. Your bed is a sacred place of rest now, you do not go there until you are ready to SLEEP. And as soon as you wake up you get OUT. This will train your subconscious that your bed is for sleeping, and will help you fall asleep, while also preventing you from searching things you shouldn’t whilst in bed.
Another Note: You also don’t get to bring your phone in the bathroom anymore. Not until you get past Day 60 at least.
TAKE A FREEZING COLD SHOWER: Why? Here’s 7 good reasons.
#1 URGE KILLER: They are the classic, doctor-prescribed medicine when you are suffering from urges. But unlike today’s instant gratification society, they suck while you do them, and you feel better after. That’s the point. Now I have had urges that a cold shower didn’t fix, but in general it washes them down the drain right alongside your whining and fear.
#2 WILLPOWER BUILDER: Taking a freezing cold shower every morning is the single best thing I’ve ever done to build willpower. Most mornings my alarm sings at 05:20, I stumble across the room to shut it off, stand while trying to snap out of my grogginess, drink some water, and fight my way into the bathroom. I get in the shower, and I stand there for several minutes while my mind tries to make excuses as to why I shouldn’t take a cold shower “today”. “Just skip today, you can do one tomorrow.” I NEVER SKIP. I am ashamed that it takes me so long to start the cold shower every day, but I never skip. If I made an excuse and skipped a cold shower, my mind would use that to make an excuse and use porn again.
#3 CONQUER YOURSELF: Same as the last reason but in a different perspective. Every day you get in there and you do it, not because you want to but because it sucks, you are conquering yourself. It’s a small victory, but it sets you up for greater victories, like, say…winning the war and overcoming PMO.
#4 SAVES TIME: If you do straight cold like I do, showers last 60 seconds. So, you also save the environment. Who knew fighting PMO could be so righteous? Hehe.
#5 ADRENALINE: When I take cold showers, the rush I get from the adrenaline and the feeling of conquering myself yet again makes me feel invincible for a little while. It’s a fantastic method for kickstarting productivity if you’re procrastinating.
#6 CALMNESS: Although this seems counterintuitive since cold showers usually make you freak out at first, once you embrace the cold and accept the suck, you gain a sense of extreme calmness. This is not only powerful for fighting urges, but also if you find yourself feeling very angry or emotional.
#7 HEALTH BENEFITS: These I don’t have reliable sources, but there’s lots of sites claiming cold showers are very healthy, and after 5 months of doing them I have to agree just based on my own life. They definitely help my skin here in this dry climate I live in.
There, have I convinced you yet?? Haha. People ask, “Do I have to take cold showers?”
No. You don’t have to stay alive for this war either, you can relapse and leave and never say another word on here, we all have free will. But if you want to win more than anything, you need the extra intensity cold showers will give you.
MEDITATION: Your goal here is self-improvement. You are here to build yourself into the ultimate version of yourself, so you need mindfulness. It is time to start meditating daily, to exercise your mind and give yourself some much-needed peace and relaxation. If you don’t know how to meditate, that’s totally fine. I didn’t either when I started this journey. I highly recommend the app Headspace, at least do the free trial. I paid the yearly subscription fee, and it is WELL worth it, but if that’s too expensive for you, guess what? NO EXCUSES. There are guided meditation videos on YouTube, or you can simply sit still and close your eyes and focus on your breathing. There are plenty of articles to research on the subject of meditation, so the only reason you’re not doing it is if you really don’t care about improving yourself.
CHECK IN ON CS: Set aside a specific time to check in on CS and do it every day. Don’t go MIA, that usually means you aren’t taking it seriously enough, and when you’re starting out you have to take it VERY SERIOUSLY. More serious than anything else in your life. And when you check in, make it a point to comment on one or two posts, and possibly write one of your own, unless you’re very busy and can’t stay online. Especially try to be active in your barracks and encourage your team members as well as take encouragement from them. Brotherhood is very important.
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE: Okay now you’ve spend a half hour on CS, that’s enough. Get out. Go to your job or go to school, and if you don’t have either of those responsibilities than go out and start doing one them. You need to fill your days with responsibility. You should try to stay away from home for at least 8 hours. If you’re in college and you wouldn’t need to spend that much time away from home, do it anyway and do your homework on campus. Time spent away from home is safe time.
STAY BUSY: Same as the last one pretty much. Don’t give yourself much free time. If you have hours a day of time where you don’t NEED to be doing something, then you are doing something wrong. Take on extra responsibilities, join a martial arts gym, take a yoga class, join a club on campus, volunteer, get a job, or if you already have one then get another job. Do whatever it takes to fill your days so when you get home it’s dinner, shower, and power down. Especially when starting out it’s ideal if you only have 1-2 hours of free time spent at home, and at least 1 of those hours should be spent with all electronics turned off, while you’re powering down for bedtime.
NOTE: By the way, when you’re starting out you should delete Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, Twitter, DEFINITELY Tinder and other dating apps, and possibly even Snapchat from your phone. Those are all fantastic ways to get hit with triggers, and when you’re starting out you don’t need that extra danger. (You may find when the time comes when you can install them again that you don’t want to).
WORK OUT: This is probably the most important one of them all. You have to find powerful and healthy habits to replace PMO with, and in my experience, this is the best one for that. It’s one of the only ways I know to directly channel sexual energy rather than suppress it, and it has countless benefits for you. It doesn’t matter what style of working out you’d like to do but be intense about it. Have a training schedule or plan and follow it. Write a training log. Obsess over your chosen sport, and work at it every day. (obviously you can throw 1 day off per week into your routine, so you don’t over train, and some days you should train lighter than others, but you should be out there 6 days a week in some form). Research your sport and make it a passion for excellence. Read “The Practicing Mind” by Thomas Sterner and apply its principles to your sport.
DISCIPLINE YOUR INTERNET USE: When you do go on the internet, have a plan and a purpose. You must have a good reason for opening up any browser, so mentally go through what that reason is, and what you’re going to search, and why. And do not stray from that plan. Think of it like an extraction mission, you have to get in quick and secure the prize, and then get out without any detours or wasted time.
POWER DOWN BEFORE BED: I mentioned this briefly above, but when you get home, an hour before your scheduled bedtime, shut off all electronics and don’t expose yourself to any of that blue light. Again, this does 2 amazing things. It makes it easier for you to fall asleep, (and according to some sources helps you have better quality sleep), and it also gives you less danger time. Are you seeing the theme here? During that hour of free time without electronics, work on homework, do housework, or even better…READ. Use that time to catch up on self-improvement books, starting with “The Practicing Mind”.
COLD SHOWER BEFORE BED: What? Wouldn’t that wake you up? Kinda. But if you’re practicing these other good sleep habits, it won’t keep you lying awake in bed or anything. It’s just a final reminder to yourself that you do what you say, you keep your word, and you have embraced the Path of Suffering. You don’t give in to instant gratification anymore, and if you do this you don’t have to worry about relapsing after you go to bed.
GO TO SLEEP 7-8 HOURS BEFORE YOU WAKE UP: Self-explanatory. Enough sleep is important for literally everything, but especially your willpower will wash away if you’re extremely tired, so get enough sleep and avoid that danger.
RINSE AND REPEAT: Do it again. Every day you follow this plan, staying mindful and having proper strategy in place for every moment, staying proactive and attacking every situation before PMO has time to get an advantage over you.
Now, what do you do when (not IF, but WHEN) you are attacked by urges and you feel like you won’t be able to resist?
REPORT YOUR URGES: Big or small, report all urges to PMO on Telegram. Oh yeah, that’s another rule. Get Telegram and get active on there. It’s a messaging app where there are dozens of committed people on there fighting the same battle. They are your brothers, so when you get urges, even if it’s a small one, get on Telegram and send a message. “Hey guys, feeling some urges to watch porn, but I’m gonna get away from my laptop and go take a walk.”
Or “Dang, all I can think about right now is how bad I want to wank it right now. But I won’t give up now, I’m going take a cold shower and do 50 pushups, I’ll check in when I’m done.”
See what that is? ACCOUNTABILITY. Every urge, small or big. You report it, include what you’re going to do to destroy it, and then go do that. Then you check in later and report how it went. “Pushups and cold shower complete, feeling like a warrior now! I’m off to finish my homework assignment now.”
Notice the power of positivity in there? That’s critical. Don’t post things like, “I can’t keep going, this is too hard. I don’t think I can make it.” If you post things like that, you’ve already failed. If you’re getting depressed and unconfident about it, that’s okay. Just get on Telegram and reach out. Say something general and ask if anyone’s around to talk, and just chat with them about it. Usually you can get your thoughts sorted out.
PHASE 2: LEADERSHIP
Phase 2 usually starts after you win your first war. You’ve made it past Day 50 and you know how to play the game now. This doesn’t mean you can relax yet. The numbers are different for everyone, but for me Phase 2 actually started around Day 60 actually. Anyways, your second war is a good time to start Phase 2.
It’s time to use your experience to inspire and help others. Get more active on CS and Telegram, mold yourself into a role model. Share your triumphs with others, as well as your weaknesses. (And how you smashed through them).
Push your brothers toward success and be fearless. You don’t have to make this a huge deal, just spend some more time working at helping others. Even feel like they are your responsibility. Let those who are weaker than you rely on you for support and give them the support they need.
Treat this like a job now and bask in the fact that you are needed. People are benefitting from you, and that means you are important. This is incredibly empowering, and it also gives you further responsibility not to fail, because now you know if you crash, the people counting on you will feel it, and you may damage them as well.
In Phase 2 you can let a couple things loosen up a bit, like you can bring your phone in the bathroom now if you feel you’re past that. I still would recommend continuing the 2+ cold showers per day, and the rigid sleep schedule, and waking up that early is definitely necessary. I shouldn’t have to say that working out is still critical, by this point you should feel like your day is unsuccessful without a workout in it.
At some point during Phase 2, you will start to get exhausted from being a leader. This completely depends on the person, for me it was after about 4 weeks I think. You feel like you don’t have enough time to spend on CS anymore, you feel like not enough people are responding so you are kind of wasting your breath (metaphorically). You have too much improvement you’re trying to do in your own life that being a leader is now getting in the way of that. You may even wonder why you’re fighting anymore. The whole fight starts to seem silly to you. This is the transition into Phase 3.
PHASE 3: TRANSCENDENCE
Phase 3 is the one that I am just starting to creep into. PMO is no longer a problem in daily life. There are many more important things to focus on, and possibly you feel as if you could go back to PMO and use it with discipline and it wouldn’t be a problem for you. Everyone is different, I don’t have the answer to that. I haven’t gone back yet and I don’t plan on it, but I’ve seen men on 500-day streaks fall so I make no promises. What I do know is that it’s been quite a bitter battle, and even though I still get hit with urges from time to time, PMO is almost not an issue in my life anymore at all.
I am very thankful for having been stuck in this bad habit, for it has taught me many things about discipline and self-improvement in my journey out of it. I hope someone somewhere benefits from this manual and tale of mine.
Peace and Love to All.
These are the last words of,
Agent Ghost