D.E.A.D.S: A strategy tool to equip into your weapon inventory
Live one more day free, honest and proud
So I don’t know how many people know about this, but I learned that the best way to combat sexual urges that come up as you’re in this strenuous process of rewiring your brain, is by applying the 5 strategies mentioned in this psych trick I learned a while ago called D.E.A.D.S
And I will add an example of how I apply what I’ve learned.
Delay: Urges can hit hard, but if we ignore them or put them off, most urges and cravings will fade within about 10 short minutes, and if not, studies show that after 30 minutes, 90% of urges have passed.
Escape: Removing yourself from the source of your urge can really help those triggers fade. Out of Sight, Out of Mind!
Accept: Keep your urges in perspective. You’re not weak if you have an urge, you’re normal, because urges are normal. Accept that it’s happening, and let it pass!
Dispute: Notice when and where your urges tend to occur, so you can come up with strategies to tackle those triggers where they live, or even avoid them in the first place!
Substitute: When an urge hits, substitute with another fun or healthy behaviour instead. Pretty soon, you’ll find yourself craving your substitute.
Now how do I incorporate these into my life you might ask?
Here is a brief snippet:
When I get this periodic unconscious trigger to just peek and see how strong am I in resisting the images I see without touching myself, …….
(It’s a weird trigger you might wonder, but bear with my effed up mind, as I am trying to paint a picture of how I deal with it haha)
……. I immediately ESCAPE by removing myself in front of the screen and set a timer for a 10 minute walk outside my room.
I ACCEPT the fact that a bad habit engrained in my subconscious mind since I was 13 years old (I am 25 btw) won’t be changed in a couple of weeks. And as I am DELAYing the action between the trigger and the reward in the habit loop, I SUBSTITUTE that bad action with a good one like a forearm exercise using a hand grip until failure right after coming back from the walk.
After a personal DISPUTE of how I got here, I realise that my mind likes to fool itself by testing its willpower for no reason but to set itself for failure and find an excuse to go back to how things were and dismantle all the digital obstacles set to prevent reaching such outlets when feeling Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
So when you I feel these 4 emotions, I H.A.L.T and drop D.E.A.D.S to live one more day free and honest.
Ok I didn’t intend for this to become dramatic all of a sudden so for a comedic conclusion, you could say that I am basically getting my hands busy gripping a hand tool until all blood has been pumped into my forearms and I can’t hold a glass of water for dear life, instead of gripping “my tool” and pumping blood somewhere else I’d regret ;p
I hope you had a good read and I can’t wait to know how you will experiment with these strategies.
Your Steadfast brother, SAGASELOR
P.S: I don’t post much, but when I do, I try to make it as valuable as possible, So please, don’t let it stop here. Share with me what you do to keep the streak going!