Archived Post from No PMO War IV
The black hole is a dangerous adversary. Many a brave explorer has fallen into the depths, never to return. These predator monsters are perfectly camouflaged, blending into the noise until the are upon you. Their strong gravitational fields can render even the most advanced defense systems obsolete. But we all will encounter a few on this journey. We must be prepared to face down this beast at some point or another. I will be highlighting the process of ensnarement and how to break free of the pull.
THE GRAVITY WELL (Part 1):
This is how the black hole lures it’s prey. A little known fact is that the gravity well of a black hole has the same range as the star it was created from. That is to say, just because you spot a black hole on the radar doesn’t mean it will devour you from light years away. In fact, the pull will be quite weak. Remember: a black hole is only strong at close quarters. Otherwise, it’s just an ordinary star. A few signs of a gravity well is if your ship starts to deviate off course without any interference. DO NOT be fooled. It is not a system error. It is not a malfunction, and it sounds stupid, but you should NOT go off radar to find out what’s causing it. THE NUMBER 1 RULE IN SPACE IS BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY! It might sound exciting and fun at the time, but it will lead to certain death. If you are smart, you will course-correct, and safely pull away.
THE GRAVITY WELL (Part 2):
If you are reading this, then that means you went off-radar. You have forsaken your mission for the sole purpose at observing the black hole. I had a friend once, an amazing scientist. He wanted to be the first to find out what’s inside a black hole. I pleaded, threatened, and begged for him not to, and at long last, he decided to not go. A month later, he said he was going on a holiday to the center of the Milky Way. I tracked his progress on my phone, only to realize he was deviating. With horror, I watched as he went to the nearest black hole and dived headfirst into the pit. He said he would come out unscathed. He never did.
If you are within the inner reaches of the gravitational well, then you are the scientist. The only reason you could be here is if you decided to go deeper, endangering you and your crew. It is not too late to fix this. This advice will probably go unheeded, but pull out. The only thing you will be remembered as is another explorer who was lost to the siren song. You might be experiencing some adverse affects. As you get closer to the black hole, your heartbeat will increase, your hands will shake, and you will become paranoid that someone is watching you. You will be drawn to sources of light such as phones, computers, and TV’s and will shy away from other people. Do not be fooled. This is the power of the black hole. If you still have your wits about you, then turn around and go back. You, and probably your loved ones, will thank me later.
THE EVENT HORIZON:
This is the point of no return. The event horizon is the point at which even light can’t escape. No matter where you are on the ship, you will know when you have crossed it. It will dawn on you that there is no going back. Even at max capacity, your boosters will only postpone the inevitable. If your ship is up-to-date, you will be able to survive days, even weeks before your fuel cells are dry. But once you run out of energy, the black hole will pull you in and you will be declared Killed in Action. Oftentimes however, explorers will simply dive right in, with the reasoning that there’s no point in trying. This is NOT the right approach. A little known fact is that THERE IS A WAY TO SURVIVE! A quirk of black holes is that you’ve only crossed the event horizon when exactly 50% of your ship is inside the boundary. We can use this to our advantage. By turning on your boosters at max capacity, you will buy yourself time to radio in for help. A ship will arrive soon, so just hang on tight. Once they do, they will employ a method called “casting”. As no light can escape a black hole (hence the name), they will shoot towing lines into the black hole, systematically covering the surface until it locks on with your ship. As long as their ship is bigger than yours, the black hole will count both of you as one ship. Since more mass is outside the event horizon than inside, the black hole will release you. It will take a tremendous effort, but by combining the might of your boosters, you can escape.
THE SINGULARITY:
I guess this is it. Either your boosters were out of date, or you are too far gone to care. Hopefully you aren’t. If you are still reading this, then you will die. Painfully. At this point, the pull of the black hole is so strong your body will start to stretch and elongate until you resemble a strand of spaghetti. This is so painful that to cope, you mind will interpret this as pleasure. Perhaps it wants you to feel something nice before you die. But before your very atoms are ripped apart, make sure to send a care pack with the same quantum relay you used to call for help. Document your experiences and any information you discovered about the black hole. This is the most important thing you can do before you die. If you don’t send some sort of care pack, then your fellow explorers will spend weeks searching for you. You can send a goodbye message if you wish, but the most important thing is to detail exactly how you fell in the trap. Your care pack could mean the difference between some rookie’s life and death. And who knows, maybe your observations will lead to the discovery of technology that will allow us to pass through with impunity.
BONUS:
If you happen to have a black hole directly in your path, then don’t panic. It’s very rare to find a stationary black hole. In fact, most of them drift through space, looking for their next victim. If you stay still, they can pass through in as little as 10 minutes. Ail you have to do is not engage.
Author’s Note: I had a lot of fun writing this. I had an incredibly vivid wet dream today, and I wrote this to relieve the tension. It would be very embarrassing if I relapsed on the first day.
