“If you can bear up under hardship, you can experience a pleasure greater than the pain. Day and night, hour by hour, people are buffeted by waves of pain and pleasure, one after the other. If they try to experience only pleasure, they cease to be truly alive. Then the pleasure evaporates. It’s not too late. If you learn self-discipline, you can make a fresh start. It’s fatal to tell yourself that it’s all over, that you’re no good.”
Unexpectedly, life for me has become a non-stop schedule—and I love it. One day I’m going to schedule in some down time, but for the moment I can’t help but notice that this zero-breath way of life has turned me into a warrior. I remember a few years ago when I thought becoming a man was enough, but now I see clearly that what makes a man great is his ability to go beyond what he is capable of—and it’s always changing the better he gets.
The days are getting warmer and sweat can be felt on the skin by just stepping into the sunny spot of the sidewalk. Gym sessions no longer require a hoodie, and I can’t seem to get enough of the cool trades blowing through the new growth on the trees around here. When one begins to slow down his thinking and become aware of life around him he sees and enjoys even the simplest of moments. Isn’t that what life is anyway? A series of moments culminating to our eventual return to dust.
I’ve been wanting to write to you all for a few weeks, there seem to be so many new soldiers now and perhaps I have built a reputation around here. I don’t even think the software has a 5th star to attach to my name. I see someone has linked to an older writing of mine which kind of inspired me as I’ve never seen that happen before. But these days the words don’t always come to mind as they used to. Have I said everything I have to say? After I fought in what seems like ten wars by now, wrote articles for a blog, started several small subreddits of my own, worked with hundreds of young and middle-aged men and wrote Man in the Making—well I guess standing back for a change is natural. But personally I’m still learning so much about life, training, living like an athlete, watching my speech, educating myself. There’s a part of me that feels like it has gone from man to warrior, and the constant day-to-day grind takes over much of the time I used to spend with good soldiers like you.
What can I say that the profound greats of history haven’t already written? The stoics, samurai, kings and woodsmen have all ventured into the unknown, learned what they could and attempted to teach others; and most of their work is free on this amazing web. I suppose you can also find some of my old writings to others in the nofap world, try searching under SolidStance.
Danger was the grindstone on which the swordsman whetted his spirit. Enemies were teachers in disguise. To be taught by danger to be alert even when asleep, to learn from enemies at all times, to use the sword as a means of letting people live; governing the realm, achieving enlightenment, sharing one’s joys in life with others—they were all inherent in the Way of the Sword.
The truth is everything revolves around the same key principles, and no matter who you are you can benefit from the warrior lifestyle that the giants of time know all too well. Let Miyamoto Musashi, history’s most accomplished swordsmen, explain it better than I can:
Musashi’s Dokkodo is a set of 21 rules of conduct that a warrior should live by, they are as follows:
- Accept everything just the way it is.
- Do not seek pleasure for its own sake.
- Do not, under any circumstances, depend on a partial feeling.
- Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world.
- Be detached from desire your whole life long.
- Do not regret what you have done.
- Never be jealous.
- Never let yourself be saddened by a separation.
- Resentment and complaint are appropriate neither for oneself or others.
- Do not let yourself be guided by the feeling of lust or love.
- In all things have no preferences.
- Be indifferent to where you live.
- Do not pursue the taste of good food.
- Do not hold on to possessions you no longer need.
- Do not act following customary beliefs.
- Do not collect weapons or practice with weapons beyond what is useful.
- Do not fear death.
- Do not seek to possess either goods or fiefs for your old age.
- Respect Buddha and the gods without counting on their help.
- You may abandon your own body but you must preserve your honour.
- Never stray from the Way.
These aesthetic principles are life-long teachings that should be reflected on daily. You can just take the first one and live a complete life with it. But the mind wants as much as it can understand, it wants novelty and new bright shiny colors to make the same teachings look slightly different.
Musashi had to come to grips with growing up and becoming a man by almost dying. Becoming reborn, he was able to see life from another perspective—one that requires discipline and steadfast leadership of self.
He also wrote in his Book of Five Rings,
Do not think dishonestly.
The Way is in training.
Become acquainted with every art.
Know the Ways of all professions.
Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters.
Develop intuitive judgement and understanding for everything.
Perceive those things which cannot be seen.
Pay attention even to trifles.
Do nothing which is of no use.
The rest is in the details. The why is there, the how is there, but what you must figure out is how it all applies to your specific situation. You aren’t challenging anyone to the death, but you are going to need to know how to confront your boss in such a way that doesn’t get you fired but promoted. You are going to need to know how best to get somewhere with critical thinking and navigate through experience with grace. Otherwise what happens? It’s pretty easy to become the asshole at work that dominates and doesn’t help anyone else. It’s easy to fall into the trap of staying inside and never enjoying all the aspects of nature. It’s all too easy to live a life like you are a zombie, never learning anything new and hoping the easy path gets a little easier.
“I did die, Takuan, and I do feel reborn. I don’t think that now is the time to return to the past. What I have to do is take a resolute step forward, into the future. I’ve barely found the way along which I’ll have to travel. When I’ve made some progress toward the knowledge and self-perfection I’m seeking, perhaps I’ll take the time to relax and look back. Not now. I find it hard to put into words, but I hope you’ll understand anyway.”
Musashi, now having gone through 3 years of solitary confinement for war crimes against Japan’s new 16th century ruler, is asked by his monk teacher Takuan if he’d like to go visit his sister after years of being separated. Takuan, not only Musashi’s teacher but also jailer, releases him with blessings to now enter the world as a new man. Musashi is reborn after being lost, confused, murderous and wandering without purpose. A part of him died in that jail and if he was going to become a samurai and follow the Way of the Sword then he must stop acting carelessly and start training as a man. Musashi’s solitary confined realizations were only the beginning.
And this war is only the beginning for you. Countless new beginnings happen as the years go by. New school, new job, new love interest, new sport, new coworker, new positions in everything. Without proper training now you could very well end up getting hit hard with life’s realities and not have a second chance. Just like a wrong move with the sword can get you killed, a wrong move in the workplace can get you fired or demoted. A wrong move in a relationship can have you single or on the couch. What about your future kids? Not knowing how to handle yourself is going to represent itself in all areas of your life. Start training now, start being tough on yourself and raise your standards so that the tough situations become a training ground for you.
You must endure suffering. On the path of finding our virtue, our real inner-strength, we must endure small painful deaths to the ego. These mind-altering blows to our sense of “me” and “mine” are the pugilist rights that all boys mature into on the way of becoming men. In a sense we are maturing into manhood normally taught by elders of our community or tribe. The tribe however is dead and you must become a man all on your own.
“I told you. I’ve just become a new man. I stayed in that musty hole for three years. I read books. I thought. I screamed and cried. Then suddenly the light dawned. I understood what it means to be human. I have a new name, Miyamoto Musashi. I want to dedicate myself to training and discipline. I want to spend every moment of every day working to improve myself. I know now how far I have to go. If you chose to bind your life to mine, you’d never be happy. There will be nothing but hardship, and it won’t get easier as it goes along. It’ll get more and more difficult.”
Musashi was speaking to a woman named Otsu who fell madly in love with him. He had to have the courage to tell her to back off, that he could not afford distractions on the path. You see it’s not always a swordfight when we need our virtues. We need to be ready to fend off the next distraction as soon as it jumps in front of us or we become like an unmanned ship coasting wherever the trades take us. You need serious self effort if you are going to lead the ship of your life.
The path of the warrior requires us to train like one; this involves observation. Everything is our teacher and nothing goes beyond that law. Some aspects of life teach us what to do, some what not to do—but everything can lend a lesson once we are open and aware enough to observe it. We have to slow down just a little. Stop all the thinking and pay attention to your breathing as you walk by someone. Pay attention as you walk into a surrounding, listen to the eyes of everyone around you. Body language and tone of voice can speak volumes.
“Fighting isn’t all there is to the Art of War. The men who think that way, and are satisfied to have food to eat and a place to sleep, are mere vagabonds. A serious student is much more concerned with training his mind and disciplining his spirit than with developing martial skills. He has to learn about all sorts of things—geography, irrigation, the people’s feelings, their manners and customs, their relationship with the lord of their territory. He wants to know what goes on inside the castle, not just what goes on outside it. He wants, essentially, to go everywhere he can and learn everything he can.”
It never ends. When you make a little progress the next challenge is winding up and getting ready to knock you off your ass again. If you continue to get stuck by the same issues you will learn nothing. Likewise if you continue to congratulate yourself for just a little bit of progress your ego is going to get inside that head of yours and help you take just a few steps back again. Humility is our shield for a strong life. Remember that for most people today our greatest weakness is our ability to win—our ability to control others instead of ourselves is a flaw that must be corrected. There is no greater skill then humility, even in high-powered, emotionally invested arenas.
“The Art of War was certainly a means of governing the people, but it was also a means of controlling the self.”
Dealing with the old you will require many hours of reflection. How did you sleep before, how were you at communication, dress, attitude under stress—every aspect of what you know needs to be put under a microscope constantly. Failures and weakness may seem like sudden situations, but really they stem from small calculated slips over a long period of time. Your being late to work was not just due to an alarm or an accident, it was an unpreparedness for that life situation. In a sense, you didn’t plan for unknowns.
Even great men have their stresses and weakness that they can’t explain. We must push on no matter how great the opposing force. Becoming a man is a process of understanding that forces opposing us happen and are good for our development, but becoming a warrior means having the will to fight back, and succeed.
The stronger a samurai is, the gentler and more considerate he is to the weak. A samurai understands and practices compassion.
Since this post must come to an end and you know how I feel about strength and discipline, I will leave you with the words Musashi gave to his first disciple Jotoro, when he had to depart from him for a time. Musashi did not know if he would live or die in the next battle so he left him with a farewell to remember,
The way I’ve chosen is one of discipline. It requires me to overcome my sentiments, lead a stoic life, immerse myself in hardship. If I don’t, the light I seek will escape me. You yourself are going to have to follow the same path, or you’ll never become a self-respecting warrior." The boy was quiet, except for his weeping. Musashi put his arm around him and hugged him. “The Way of the Samurai—one never knows when it will end. When I’m gone, you must find yourself a good teacher.”
“When will that be?”
“It’s difficult to say.”
"Two years, maybe?"
Musashi did not answer.
“Three years?”
“There’s no end to the path of discipline.”