No PMO War I

Have to say that it is a bit embarrassing to admit that even with all my stars, I still get weak and give in to my cravings. In a moment of weakness, I let myself watch a bit of porn, but didn’t edge or MO. Sorry to let the remaining guys down, but I will get back on the horse and start again with my discipline. Stay tough for those of you who are still left, and also to the rest of you guys as well!! The reward of perseverance is worth it 🙏💪

Me again! I wanted to share something that happened to me when I started this new account, which was the war before last. Hopefully it resonates with at least one person who may be struggling right now. I’ve been at both ends of the “success” spectrum when it comes to no-fap. Back in 2015 I went an entire year without PMO, and I’ve broadly had modest levels of success since. But then I’ve also slid back into periods of intense binging, giving into PMO whilst working from home is not my proudest accomplishment but I’ll admit here nonetheless. So back to the war two years ago. I think I made it to two weeks, and then the cravings started. The first time was okay, I managed to avoid relapsing and assumed I’d wake up over it and continue on. But the next day they were stronger. I resisted and felt like I’d turned a corner, but then the following morning, I felt it all the same again. I don’t remember how long it took before I gave in, probably maybe one more day (if that). I hadn’t said anything to the group, I just made a decision in the moment to go KIA before finally giving in. I decided that I couldn’t deal with the shame of PMOing whilst also fighting in the war. That was the start of a pretty severe amount of binging, at least once a day with a smattering of streaks, not lasting longer than a week at most. And the worst part was that I convinced myself I was fine, it was all okay, nothing to see here. But with that came all the same mental stresses. I felt I was objectifying women, boiling them down to their looks. I didn’t want to engage in any other entertainment, I just wanted to PMO, whilst convincing myself as we all do, that I could stop “any time.” But throughout all this my job was (and still is) going great, I was (and still am) in a great relationship with a wonderful human being, and my social circle was (and again still is) as lively and fulfilling as ever. The thing I noticed was that it wasn’t enough. I’ve been struggling with my mental health, and I’m not saying it was all PMO (I have a history of anxiety and anxious attachment) but it sure as hell was a easy way out instead of confronting it. So here I am. Sharing this because, as I’ve said in a previous post, I want to remain accountable. Writing this out has already removed any sense of cravings and urges I may have been feeling when I started, and I’m feeling pretty good about getting into bed now and having a good night’s sleep. So if any of that resonates with you, please know that you’re not alone. And if you’re struggling with your own urges/cravings, deciding against PMOing right now is the right decision. If you do remain in this war, I’ll be there by your side until the end and then beyond, that’s my promise to you.

I think there’s a big element that’s often ignored, or rather downplayed, in discussions around no-PMO lately that I would like to get into. What I’m about to say next is NOT an endorsement of PMO, but I want to demonstrate what we’re fighting here. The problem with PMO is that it’s objectively fun. Porn is, by design, a pleasant thing to experience, tailored to pretty much anyone’s “tastes,”, and orgasming is by definition one of the best sensations a person can experience. So with the deck stacked against someone like this, it’s no wonder people find abstinence so fucking difficult. I think this is the piece of the puzzle that’s missing in our arsenals. You feel an urge, but the argument so often devolves into “feel good fun now vs prolonged resistance and discomfort” as a sort of false equivalence. We talk about the “willpower” method and building systems to resist those temptations, but (and this is only my opinion) without acknowledging this core problem with PMO, it’s nearly always a losing battle. Here’s my proposal. You have to admit that porn is both a slow poison and also mad fun. You have to acknowledge that the perceived high of PMO is going to outweigh the isolated small, but incrementally large amount of damage it will do. You have to get your brain to acknowledge that the “it’s okay, I’ll be fine really, I felt okay last time” is a LIE to yourself because your brain just wants what feels good now. It’s not about learning to live with being uncomfortable. It’s about accepting living without what could arguably be called one of your favourite pastimes, because the consequences are too destructive. That is what we’re fighting here. There’s a lesson in how we use language. It’s not that you can’t watch porn. It’s that you DON’T. They’re not urges, they’re cravings. Just like how cigarettes are disastrous for our health but one by itself is unlikely to have any serious effect. they’re so good to smoke, they feel great. If you want to quit smoking, you have to acknowledge that you won’t feel that nicotine rush again (apologies for the metaphor if you’ve never smoked, please don’t try it, it’s such a bad idea). Porn is the same. So next time you’re feeling a craving, just accept that whilst PMO might be fun and exciting, you’re choosing not to have that fun and excitement in service of a higher purpose, and that’s okay. Nofap success is more rewarding, you just have to believe it in those moments where your brain is telling you how much it wants to peek. Stay strong everyone. I believe in you all, even the casualties of this war. YOU GOT THIS.

I unfortunately succumbed to temptation. But I know what I did wrong and how to be better in the future, I have also made amazing progress in other helpful habits. Most of all remembering to pray, all of you are most likely not spiritual but I am so praying is a big thing for me, I know that The Lord always has my back and when I do pray I am always able to continue on as normal, it's amazing and I was remembering to do it a lot this time, so I know I can continue on and that not all is lost. Good luck to those still in the fight, I believe in you guys!

For the last few wars, I have suffered the same fate, either I forgot it or just did not reach it in time. Same with this war, I got KIA for not checking in late like an hour. On the other hand tho I reenlisted and somehow ends up in the same empire in the same barracks lol

24 active and 5 mia. I'm just wanted to check in with everyone. How is everyone traveling so far?

Found stories with metaphors for therapeutic purposes through Facebook ad. It got me interested and so I decided to buy it. I quickly looked through these stories and I can already tell, that these are amazing ❤️🙏🏻 highly recommended in my opinion 😌👍🏻 https://getingbetter.com/200-therapeutic-metaphors/?utm_source=FB&utm_campaign=Camp+Teste+Metaforas%7C120222715862280217&utm_medium=Conjunto+imagem+27%7C120225088730990217&utm_content=AD27_Group_1%7C120225088731090217&utm_term=Facebook_Mobile_Feed&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0BMABhZGlkAasgFPVNBIkBHhUFZSUen7j3gofqbuKQ6emQ0i0IYfZGclrWABsS1cV-2i16x0ZltV_Se-m4_aem_IkAWByTrdhPnM51zXOSOug&utm_id=120222715862280217

This shouldn’t be so hard but somehow it is. I’d like to end this war with the exact numbers we have right now. What can you do to make that happen for yourself?

Porn addiction undermines your self-image, your relationships, and your focus. But just like rust on iron, it starts from within. By consciously choosing recovery and support, you can reclaim the strength that was once eroded by addiction. Recovery is not a straight line. It's a battle with yourself – but that also means you are the one who can win. You are not weak because you struggle. You are strong because you choose to fight.