No PMO War XLI

So hello everybody who is reading this. Today I relapsed after no PMO for a month and a bit. - The mistake: I had an urge to watch something sexual a few days ago and I gave in a little bit. What do I mean? I mean that I didn't watch porn or tiktok dance or something like that. My brain convinced me that if I watched videos of women ASMR (whisperring videos) that I wouldn't relapse. Of course my SM said that it wanted it's fix for easy dopamine and because I used to fap it knows how to get it. So I watched it and at first I was fine I got my dopamine hit and it was done. But then the next day when I was bored my brain hinted that I should watch it again. I didn't watch asmr that day but, the thoughts of these hot girls got more frequent and more frequent until today. I watched an hour or two of ASMR till I busted a nut. Without even touching my slong. -The power of a peek (and the dangers): This shows the power of one peek. It's not just one peek, it's a chain reaction that demonstrates to your SM that you can go back to the easy dopamine in this way. A few days later you will give in. What exactly happend to me. Your SM will try to convince you with a softer alternative, don't buy in. It's a trojan horse trying to conquer your system. Once you let the horse in it will attack you from the inside with thoughts and ideas. You will start to fantasize again about girls you see. You have all these naughty thoughts and on a day you will not be able to resist these thoughts and go all out and relapse. Just like @Escape_from_Porn would say it's a radioactive substance. Which when locked away is safe to be around, but the very moment you open the lock and take a look, you will get contaminated and the radiation will spread across the entire body until you will die (relapse). Even though I like this thought, I like the trojan horse thought better. Because relapsing is more of a gradual process. You get exposed to a photo or a video and nothing really happends. But underneath the surface it will start attacking with thoughts, fantasies and more. Until the entire city falls ( your give in and relapse). -This is what I learned: Unlike other times I tried to quit, I actually made to a one month mark which im very proud of. But it doesn't end here. I am motivate to improve to go beyond this mark and to better myself so I can overcome this addiction forever. I don't feel shame or guilt unlike my previous attempts. I have feelings of joy, proud and motivation to beat this disgusting addiction forever. Why don't I feel shame or guilt? I think it's because I didn't make my personality that of someone who has a streak of say 10 days. I just impoved my life through screen time, cardio, work for school, relationship with my mom and so much more. I am motivated to become even better and work harder, because this slip up shows that I'm slacking. -How counting days will ruin your life: You are contsantly busy with the thing you don't want to do. Why is this bad? Well let's do an exercise: Don't think of a pink elephant. Let me guess, you thought of a pink elephant. This counting days reminds you daily of the thing you want to avoid. And thus making it harder to avoid. The more you think about it, the higher change you have of relapsing. Also counting streaks will ruin your progress in the long run. While you can get to big streaks (one week, two weeks, a month) which are great, but once you relapse you will binge a lot of porn. This will reset all the progress you made. How? Well if you haven't watched porn for a week and then you relapse and nut four times that day "cuz the streak has been resetted already. And then the day after you fap trice cuz "im at day zero it doesn't matter that much". And bam you are already at a zero days won score. (7days no PMO --> 7 times in 2 days). Instead of counting the days you didn't watch PMO (streaks) you should count how many times you fapped in a month/ week / year depending on your level your at. For me for example I have now fapped once a month which is let's say 1/30. But if I give in tonight again "cuz the streak is gone, then im already doubling the damage for this month 2/30 or 1/15. which is way more than It should be. If I continu this once a month then I would get to 11-12 times a year which isn't bad at all. What I mean is that you get a better sense off progression when counting times a week/month/ year than with streaks. Set a baseline of maybe you progress this month. Maybe every 2 days. Then your baseline is 15 times a month. Next month make it less. and the month after even less. This is progression. Streaks might seem the same but aren't because the relapse will just feel better and you will do it more. This is how you get into the tipycal cycles of I'm so done with PMO and then have a streak of a week and then binge PMO till your so fried that you're done again and the cycle keeps repeating. !!Warning next I will speak about my semen!! For those who won't read the next part, thank you for reading this long paper and I hope I helped someone. . . . . . So When I busted it was so strong it actually hurt a bit and the semen was very thick and had a white/ yellowish shine. Normally it's seethough and watery. Also normally when I shower afterwards it sticks to the hair of my balls, but this time it slipped right by and didn't get stuck at all which saved me plenty time cleaning up. Thank you for reading all of this. Yours truly. modernwisom

Hi @PierceFranklin I think it's traditional to have a war that starts at the stroke of November since the concept of NNN will attract the most number of addicts to enlist to beat the addiction. . . But looks like the current one will only end on Nov 2nd, and then the next war won't start for a week or two. So most people will not join or would have failed NNN by the time that war begins. . . I was hoping that you could finish this war before end of october (a truncated end, yes), give a few days for signup, and start a new one immediately on Nov 1st. . . Let me know what you think.

Bro I'm back. few months ago, I thought I broke the chain and I'm free from this nightmare. But I I'm wrong so I wanted to join back this community and that when I couldn't log in.(I don't know why. maybe technical issue) Thank God I was able to join today. So u guys r doing now.feels good to join u all and fight off this Monster together once and for all

This thread is to log important daily events in my life and as part of the semen retention journey. Others can also follow my example and create their own threads, and note down if any urges happened / improvements were seen etc.

I'm thinking that each person (active or fallen) should have an individual thread wherein they checkin, and also post any important tidbit that would be useful for themselves or the larger community. . . This way - others can learn from the leaders. It's important that this doesn't take away too much time from your day, but just a couple of mins would be very valuable for everyone. . . Of course, for detailed discussion - they can always start a separate thread. Progress thread posts can be concise.

I think that my mindfulness practice is really helping. I’ve been practicing for 20-40 minutes a day for 10 days now. I know it’s still so early but I do feel like I have less stress, better emotional regulation. I also feel like I’m using it to replace P, when I have moments where I would have been craving P I now just want to release with mindfulness. I know that this isn’t the end and I know my fight will continue, I’m just excited by my progress. Today is day 3 of my streak, I’m so so tired and I do still get thoughts of oh P would be nice. Tiredness has always been a trigger but I feel more distant from the cravings than I did before. Is it the mindfulness idk. All I know is that I am excited to continue this fight

I haven’t had a hair cut in about 9 months or somewhere close to that so as you can imagine my hair got kind of long. I was still taking care of it but it’s not smart and sharp the way that I like it. I think I just stopped caring, let myself get a bit down. Going to the barbers tonight to get cleaned up, it will definitely give me a mental boost.

I've healed a lot over the past year since I've escaped from porn, but until recently, I wasn't able to follow a regular diet/exercise/sleep/self-care cycle. . Escaping from porn itself led to some gains, but not an extraordinary transformation that people usually tout - something like "semen retention gives you superpowers". I have improved a lot, no question about it; I've lost lots of fat; I'm more confident, more productive, etc., but I had much higher expectations. You get the idea. . . But in the past couple of weeks, I've been able to regularize my lifestyle, and fully focus on myself. But even in such a short time, I can see incredible growth. . Some are: 1/ I don't get exhausted after workouts - I workout with heavier weights, and for longer periods. I used to need scoops and scoops of protein powder to soothe my aching muscles for the same exercises that I do now without even breaking a sweat. . . 2/ My focus has improved. . . 3/ So many other benefits - which I will list later. But I want to speak about the most important benefit, and the whole point of this post: I get these raging hard boners in the morning. Yes I'm aware of morning wood, and when I started my semen-retention journey - I already used to have strong boners. But these days, it's as if I'm on viagra. . . It feels like a stone ready to explode. Even when I was watching porn, I had such boners extremely rarely - it'd happen only for the most stimulating porn, and that too if I hadn't fapped for 2 weeks. I had had such a 2 week streak only few times over my numerous years as a porn addict. I'm shocked to realize that porn stole this from me for so many years. . . . And the boner isn't ephemeral either. It lasts so long, one would think it's eternal - easily 30 mins (I don't check the clock, but I can perceive the time). And I don't even touch it. It's as if my whole body - every inch and nerve send their energies to this focal point. Even a slight movement of any part of my body (like pandiculation) makes the boner harder and way too pleasurable. . . And I'm not even chasing the pleasure - I just let the boner stay there like that and bask in the pleasure. Like the feeling of a cool breath mint in your mouth (after it has fully melted). It's an amazing feeling, and nowadays it happens every morning like clockwork. . . There is so much undiscovered happiness in this journey - I'm just amazed by it.

I keep having wet dreams and strong wood in the morning. I woke up and doom scrolled alot. That's my mistake