No PMO War XLI

Hey all! I’ve been struggling recently, have relapsed quite a bit and binged significantly too, tried to fool myself that it’s all okay and natural and whatever, and really I’ve not been feeling particularly bad for it, but I recognise that it’s unsustainable. I have trouble regulating, so for me, it’s either No-PMO or Always-PMO. I’m picking No-PMO. I also realised that I used to engage a lot more here. This is a new account, the previous one I had began to feel like a game, I was “the best” because I had the most stars (not even true) and it stopped feeling like I was doing this for me. I failed the last two wars because I just sort of forgot how much I cared. Anyway, I’m back. And I’m posting this because I intend to stick to it this time, and my brain works really well with accountability. I’ve seen all the posts in the past about staying away from the willpower method, but I know what works for me and right now, I’m in what I suppose you could call the “bulk” phase. Get a streak going, and then figure out the mental defences. That’s my story, thank you for reading, see you on the battlefield!

It is real, but not in the way you think. Of course, it's not AI-generated (most of it), but the people aren't a real representation of the people in the world. They are perfect in a way that triggers our dopamine system the hardest, and they are always extremes. Because why would you want to watch a video of a fit girl when you can watch a video of a girl with top 0.01% genetics, training, plastic surgery, and a $10,000 skincare routine? It's just not a realistic image. If you look around in your city, you'll see girls with a nice face and a big ass, but she's overweight. Or she's very pretty but has no curves. Or, worst case, she's a 9 or 10 in terms of looks but acts like a bitch because she knows she's highly valuable to men due to her appearance, and she becomes cocky and arrogant. For me, the less I watch porn, the more I focus on someone's internal image. Of course, the exterior is important, but I find that I don't care as much about it as I used to. Because the outside can change. She might fall and chip her teeth, and now she has a big hole in her smile. Or she might be out of shape but then starts eating healthy and gets fit. That's why I’ve started to think about and enjoy porn less—because it's only about outer beauty. But you quickly see through that facade and realize how empty these porn stars are. There's no connection, and that leaves me feeling empty and unsatisfied after PMO. I want that connection, and a screen just can't give it to me. What are your thoughts on this?

I was on here for the first couple wars back when this website started and it’s great to see it’s still going strong. I’m ready to do this now probably more than back then so let’s go and good luck to everybody.

How did it feel like? Besides the achievement itself, how did you feel as a man?

It doesnt matter to me anymore how many times ive failed ive proven to myself that not only do I get back up, but I try just as hard as I did when I first started I got it this time Day 0

And each day builds a week, and every week is your brick - brick to the fortress of your dreams :)

I did pretty well in the last war, better than I have before. And I hope to repeat that here, unfortunately, I have been struggling a lot lately. But I am hoping to start off strong and take the necessary steps to improve. Good luck to you all.

I'm beginning this war in a deep state of depression, without motivation or any kind of drive whatsoever. It's an interesting place to begin when this war is so synonymous with self-development and change. When I've struggled with depression in the past the first step for me is to let go of the negative habits, then a lot of the negative energy often dissipates by itself. So maybe this is a good place to be, or at least a good place to start. Letting go of PMO could be the first step I need to remove myself from this pit of depression that I've found myself in. Hitman

If we could believe that we’re capable of sustaining this change, of conquering ourselves and living as a new man then we would have hope. If we could believe that we’re worth the chance of living free from this addiction and the destruction it causes then we could have motivation. If we believed we deserved better then maybe we could love ourselves enough to persevere.

I first checked out this site almost a decade ago, near the birth of my first child, in hopes of finding motivation to be able to move past this issue. Since then I can see the devastation that’s come into my family life by not conquering my self and leaving this problem behind me. All I can do is try again and hope to have 50 days of reprieve from the emotional retardation that this problem has caused. Maybe I can tie in quitting alcohol and drugs at the same time so I can just break free from everything weighing me down. I’m now finding that I can really only do this for myself and by myself. Nobody will hold My hand, and nothing is more important than caring for myself and healing for my own sake, full stop. I don’t even want to think about the trickle down affect or who else should join me, only focusing on me entirely is something I’ve never done. Here we go again.