No PMO War VI

Exactly like you do it. I guess there is no other way out of the behavior mechanism. You are stronger then the behavior. Your are stronger then the programm. If you have hard times easier will follow.

@HitmanX hey brother, I am exactly in the same situation now. Actually, I’m at the hospital now getting checked for corona or influenza because I have had a persistent cough and sore throat for the last couple weeks. I too love to get out and exercise normally and haven’t been able to do that. However, this is the opportunity to go inward! Believe in yourself that you are stronger than the simple escape of a fleeting pleasure or dopamine fix! You are also a member of the Phalanx barracks!! Stay strong 💪
Also keep in mind that if you relapse, this will only make you feel more unwell in the long run 🙏

Sorry to hear you're going through that @thor, did you find out what it was? Hoping it's nothing too serious.

The patterns of behaviour are so well worn in my brain that my coping mechanisms are almost automatic by now. Yesterday was so difficult for me. If I have negative feelings and emotions (depressed, anxious, sad, lonely) my brain starts to look for different PMO related solutions to get rid of these emotions, and then the action would automatically follow. I count yesterday as a victory as previously I wouldn't have remained strong on a day like that, failure would have been inevitable. I want to use that experience as my first real sign of change.

The brain does crazy things when it's in a kind of panic mode. My brain is freaking out like 'I'm trying to make him feel better so why isn’t he listening to me anymore'. Over the last few days I've been having thoughts about an ex of mine and last night I had such a vivid dream about her, to the point that when I woke up this morning I came very close to texting her. Man, my brain is trying everything to mess me up right now :-)

Stay strong mate, if you only use your PC for PMO and not your phone you can try taking the PC apart and placing different things around the house, eg keyboard, mouse, power leads. That way if you are on the edge of giving in you need to first rebuild the PC. During the time it takes you to rebuild and set your system back up you'll hopefully give yourself enough time to talk yourself down and come back to your senses.
I heard a story about a bloke who was depressed disassembling his firearm for the same reason he would talk himself down while collecting the pieces for it before he did anything.
Hopefully that helps.

As for your ex if you get close to texting her again you could try calling family instead. No need to spill your guts to them just have a conversation.
A simple conversation with someone who cares about you will give you that human connection you need and probably end with you feeling better than having a conversation with the ex.
Call a grandparent just to check in on them and see how they are doing. The elderly are pretty clever and they've likely been through similar things in their lives and had people to lean on when they needed. Now it can be your turn to lean on them.
We are only alone in our suffering when we dont reach out.