No PMO War XLI

It’s the first week of the war but it’s my third week of being PMO free, I feel amazing. I know it’s unfashionable around here but I did learn this from the Easy Peasy method; for the first time probably since I first discovered PMO, I truly believe (not just objectively but fully subconsciously too) that PMO can only cause harm. I always had that “it’s bad but how bad can it be really?” Mentality; if you asked me what I thought I could say to you “yeah it’s terrible isn’t it?” Whilst deep down think “ but not bad enough to properly stop.” I’m reaching the point where in past attempts I’d be wrestling with my willpower, but I just feel excited to be able to brush it off.

Everything feels a million times better yanno? It’s only been three weeks but the brain fog’s gone, my confidence is back, I’m excited to be outside again, etc etc etc. At this stage, I don’t even feel like there’s anything to resist.

How are you feeling?

I feel urges and my eyes are thirsty to see woman. A desperate need to see their body parts and getting aroused. it happens most of the time, at initial stages I don't look but after 2,3 days I started see them and their parts. Don't know why initially I think I'm strong and then gets the reality check in just 3 days, pretty disappointing. Every time thinks the same that from today I won't but after sometime I do the same and lapse. Please help

Today I feel good. Yesterday, on Sunday, I felt an old emotional wound resurface, and I didn't really have a way to cope with it. So I just went through it and rediscovered a part of myself along the way.

Through this challenge, I've been going to the gym a lot more often. I can really feel that extra pump during the final sets. The first week, I didn't really enjoy it. But that's the price you pay for the benefits. You can't receive without giving something in return, without making sacrifices.

I think I used to approach things with the mindset of "What am I going to get out of doing this or that?"

Now I'm trying to look at things differently: "Could be fun, so don't give a shit and just do it."

What about you?

It's been a good start to the war for me, no real urges but I think I'm in quite a lethargic state at the moment. My mind is a little flat, no real motivation or energy for action taking. I did manage to go to the gym the day before yesterday for the first time in a long time plus attend a group meditation, so I'm starting to see some positive signs in my day-to-day experience even if it's not currently showing up as feel good emotions.

I'm working hard on becoming aware of the 'feel good in the moment' activities vs the 'doing good in the moment to feel better later' activities. Not always easy as my brain has become so conditioned to instant gratification and getting it's emotional rewards this way. I'm trying to create the separation between the activities that create instant dopamine in the brain vs the activities that cause me to emotionally feel good throughout my whole body. This kind of feel good energy makes life seem more rewarding and worthwhile. So I'm trying to go more off logic rather than feeling, emotion and impulse, 'I don't want to go to the gym right now but I know I'll feel better in the future'.

I became aware yesterday that when I was out in town I was feeling quite good but as soon as I returned to my house I instantly started feeling some negative emotions. Due to my anxiety I often isolate myself at home and this is where all my negative habits are taking place. I’m now associating my living space with all my negative emotions, sadness, loneliness, frustration and so decided to step back and take a look at my home environment. I tried to do it from a third person perspective, as in, ‘if someone was to walk into my house right now, what would they be thinking and what impression would they have of me?’. I started to consider basic things like tidiness and cleanliness as well as things like which books I have displayed on my bookshelf and how am I choosing to furnish my living environment. I’ve done some work already and I’m already starting to feel better, the energy has shifted and upgraded a little. Apart from the mice that have moved in recently and I’m struggling to catch the little fuckers 😂😂😂. Everything else feels more positive.

Overall, I think I’m making some positive progress which I’ll be trying to expand on throughout the war 😊😊

Good

Good for the most part.
30 yr old male here