I am sorry to say that after 3 1/2 weeks of no PMO, I succumbed late last night 😳
The problem or cause was that I allowed myself to start fantasizing sexually, thinking that it would be harmless. That deceptive thought has been my downfall in the past as well. The reality, at least for me, is that once I allow the fantasy to grow, then I slowly begin to lose my sense of clarity. Once those lust demons are allowed to enter, they slowly, steadily and sneakily take over the driver seat. And before you know it, you are in a kind of hypnotic state on autopilot 😳
This is our big challenge, it seems: staying vigilant and alert and closing the door to these demons before they are able to make their way inside! Relapse always begins with “harmless“ micro compromises which will inevitably escalate…
Stay strong, brothers, and I will be following this war from the bunkers 🙏
No PMO War XV
Sorry hear about that Thor. But wow, is exactly almost all my previous relapses have been! Once you’re on a decent streak, the mind becomes so sensitive to sexual imaginations and that compounds eventually to a full blown relapse. Definitely have to be mentally vigilant
Bro just got a similar experience- but i survived. It was similar as you discribed. Mentally i gave a little space for it and dream was full of scenes.
Well done @thor for having the bravery to return to the group to take ownership of your situation. That shows you taking full accountability for your actions and is a great sign you have the awareness needed to understand what to do differently next time.
This is the exact same issue that I struggle with. This process has become a deeply ingrained pathway within our brains. It starts with something that seems relatively harmless, such as fantasising, but this is never enough because the cravings never get resolved. It just increases the need for more and more dopamine until we finally reach the point of no return and feel powerless to stop it.
Yesterday was my worst day for cravings. I was literally seconds away from giving in, but I've been working on a new technique to help cope during these moments.
When I feel like giving in to the intense cravings, instead, I consider a future moment that I want to save my sexual energy for that will feel much more rewarding.
For example, yesterday I was thinking that the following day I want to go into town and do some daygame. I'm trying to get better at interacting with women as a way to help overcome this addiction. Real-world connection over the virtual bullshit that is so unfulfilling.
So I thought to myself, 'If I relapse now, I won't have the sexual energy required to go and do daygame tomorrow,' and then the following day would be ruined.
It's about experiencing the feeling of future regret and bringing it into the present moment. Sacrificing the guaranteed instant gratification of today for the potential for a better tomorrow.
In that moment, my daygame session of tomorrow became more important then giving in to the cravings of today. So, even though the feelings were intense, I still managed to get through it, as I had a reason to hold on and save my energy.
