No PMO War XXXIX

02/26/24 - 04/15/24
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I hope You'll be able to read this message

I read or heard somewhere that compulsive behaviours resulting from addiction stem from a sense of inner emptiness within a person.

The solution is to fill that emptiness with something of value, something greater than ourselves.

I think that this something greater than ourselves is love in all its forms.

It seems quite simple, even naively simple, but I believe that is exactly how it works.

In a personโ€™s inner life, either this emptiness exists, or love takes its place.

I believe this to be true because when I had a partner, I did not exhibit any compulsive behaviour, and when I no longer had one, unfortunately, those behaviours returned.

Of course, love for a partner is just one form of love, so even if that particular form of love is absent from your life, you can work on cultivating other forms of love โ€“ such as self-love or even love for others, manifested in the form of selfless help for others.

I wish you all the very best๐Ÿ™๐Ÿซ‚

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I hope You'll be able to read this message
I read or heard somewhere that compulsive behaviours resulting from addiction stem from a sense of inner emptiness within a person. The solution is to fill that emptiness with something of value, something greater than ourselves. I think that this something greater than ourselves is love in all its forms. It seems quite simple, even naively simple, but I believe that is exactly how it works. In a personโ€™s inner life, either this emptiness exists, or love takes its place. I believe this to be true because when I had a partner, I did not exhibit any compulsive behaviour, and when I no longer had one, unfortunately, those behaviours returned. Of course, love for a partner is just one form of love, so even if that particular form of love is absent from your life, you can work on cultivating other forms of love โ€“ such as self-love or even love for others, manifested in the form of selfless help for others. I wish you all the very best๐Ÿ™๐Ÿซ‚
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I 100% agree with you. However, I really struggle to fill that hole in me. Its growing. I cannot find any real purpose anymore. You guys experience that as well?

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I 100% agree with you. However, I really struggle to fill that hole in me. Its growing. I cannot find any real purpose anymore. You guys experience that as well?
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@Warrior917 To fill that hole You got to work on having love in Your life, as mentioned in this text above of mine.

You can work on this from various directions - one is working purely on Yourself, having Yourself as the focus of Your love.
This basically means building up a self-love.

I'd say self-love can be build generally on the foundation of proper self care activities, treating Yourself as You'd like for Your loved ones to be treated.
Also working on self-compassion is huge, because it's no possible to be there with love for Yourself without having a proper self-compassion.

Ok, so that's one direction of how You can have love in Your life.
The other direction is building love to others, to people You know, who could need help of someone and even bigger scope is to build love to others by helping people You don't know, but who would need help from others.

To put that help to others in action You can assign Yourself for some social volunteering work.
For example I'm waiting for the next recruitment period for helping phone service.
Once the recruitment period starts I'll request to be a volunteer at this charity social service.

Basically my task will be to pick up calls from people who are in need to talk with someone.
Sounds very wholesome to me, and since it's an unrequited help to others, the love is there :)

Maybe in Your country there are similar social charity services in which You could volunteer for.

Does these ideas sound like something You could work with? :)

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@Warrior917 To fill that hole You got to work on having love in Your life, as mentioned in this text above of mine. You can work on this from various directions - one is working purely on Yourself, having Yourself as the focus of Your love. This basically means building up a self-love. I'd say self-love can be build generally on the foundation of proper self care activities, treating Yourself as You'd like for Your loved ones to be treated. Also working on self-compassion is huge, because it's no possible to be there with love for Yourself without having a proper self-compassion. Ok, so that's one direction of how You can have love in Your life. The other direction is building love to others, to people You know, who could need help of someone and even bigger scope is to build love to others by helping people You don't know, but who would need help from others. To put that help to others in action You can assign Yourself for some social volunteering work. For example I'm waiting for the next recruitment period for helping phone service. Once the recruitment period starts I'll request to be a volunteer at this charity social service. Basically my task will be to pick up calls from people who are in need to talk with someone. Sounds very wholesome to me, and since it's an unrequited help to others, the love is there :) Maybe in Your country there are similar social charity services in which You could volunteer for. Does these ideas sound like something You could work with? :)
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When I'm with my partner I don't fap. When she's not with me I fap. So it's true that when you have someone near you, you don't fap
But the point it's another. You must be capable of doing no pmo also when you are alone

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When I'm with my partner I don't fap. When she's not with me I fap. So it's true that when you have someone near you, you don't fap But the point it's another. You must be capable of doing no pmo also when you are alone
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@Chrisklb Thank you for that answer! I really needed that. Still I noticed theres a lot of work ahead of me. Thank you - it helped!

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@Chrisklb Thank you for that answer! I really needed that. Still I noticed theres a lot of work ahead of me. Thank you - it helped!
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@Warrior917 I'm glad, that it helped ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜Œ

@Rufye It's not about physical presence at all.
You can be many kilometers apart, but what connects You and Your partner is that ever present thing, that thing ever present is love.

I was many kilometres apart from my partner and yet I felt absolutely none compulsions to watch porn or to masturbate.

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@Warrior917 I'm glad, that it helped ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜Œ @Rufye It's not about physical presence at all. You can be many kilometers apart, but what connects You and Your partner is that ever present thing, that thing ever present is love. I was many kilometres apart from my partner and yet I felt absolutely none compulsions to watch porn or to masturbate.
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