Below is a very short description of my system. I'm writing a detailed book, but since people are in urgent need of the system itself - I'm presenting the outline of the unfinished book. Feel free to ask me questions if you're not fully clear about the points.
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By God's grace, I developed this system and it is the only one that worked for me because all other systems only preach to the CM, but porn emanates from the SM.
CM= Conscious Mind
SM = Subconscious Mind
The main tenets - easy to remember as TLDC
———}}}}}}—Toilet / Postponement——–{{{{{{—
Whenever you have an urgent nature’s call, if you’re in a public place (such as in a classroom/crowded theater), you are able to resist the call until you get to a restroom.
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So, even an irrepressible physical desire can be postponed. Similarly, mental desires can also be postponed, with the right amount of training.
Why delay it? It buys your Conscious Mind time to prepare defenses or ways to dodge the urges.
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———}}}}}}—Lycanthropy / Forgiveness——–{{{{{{—
If you have read Harry Potter, there’s this character named Remus Lupin. He’s a werewolf and every full moon night he fully loses his conscious mind, and submits to his feral desires and is unable to tell friend from foe. There are moments when he has actually endangered his loved ones when he turns into a werewolf.
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This is a deplorable curse that prevents him from mingling in society. Once people know about his curse, they shun him. This is shown in the book. It is the central theme of the 3rd HP book.
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However, Lupin didn’t willingly take the curse, nor was it placed on him as a result of his deliberate actions. When Lupin was a child, a horrible heartless werewolf named Fenrir Greyback bit him and thereby placed the curse on Lupin. Through no known fault of his own, Lupin got a lifelong curse.
Likewise, most of porn addicts didn’t willingly take this up, nor did any of our actions deserve this curse.
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Porn addicts usually got addicted to this when young, immature, and didn’t know the consequences of their actions. They must thus learn to forgive themselves. They must rid themselves of porn, but shouldn’t look at themselves as monsters and unworthy of mingling in society.
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———}}}}}}—Dopamine / Stress Management——–{{{{{{—
This is the absolute core of the system. Porn has been the constant companion for addicts. Whether an addict is happy/sad/celebratory/depressed/scared/frustrated – they have wired their mind to turn to porn. It solves all their problems, and also gives them instant happiness.
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Hence, they must now retrain their mind to virtuous sources of dopamine instead of porn.
Virtuous sources are productive activities like Meditation, Exercise, Reading Books, Watching TV Shows, Studying, Gardening; Working on a passion project, Talking/interacting with loved ones etc. Even a simple act of walking outside and getting fresh air, or eating a healthy but tasty snack can also provide dopamine.
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———}}}}}}—Cancer / Constant Vigilance——–{{{{{{—
Porn is like a cancer-causing radioactive substance. Nobody can ever become immune to it. So now matter how long you have stayed away from porn, you must maintain constant vigilance and completely stay away from it.
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“If you want peace, prepare for war”
No matter how many years the land has remained peaceful, one should keep on developing new types of weapons and upgrade one’s military capabilities. War may never come, but one should always be prepared. So it’s pointless to be congratulatory about one’s streak. A streak is meaningless unless you have developed stronger systems to improve yourself so that when the next war comes – you are better prepared.
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Remember that porn is not some static entity. More cunning than AI, (because it’s your own SM) porn will morph itself to slip through your defenses.
So, let’s say that for 15 days you didn’t have any notable urges. But on the 16th you have this immense urge and you barely survived it. That means your defenses are at breaking point – you must upgrade your defenses and tactics. The next wave might either be too strong or too sneaky. Either way, you are bound to lose unless you update your tactics.
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Tools
———}}}}}}—DEFCON——–{{{{{{—
All countries have a DEFENSE READINESS CONDITION scale according to which all their armed forces must maintain their state. The armed forces shall be constantly monitoring threat levels, and when they detect elevated threats, they will immediately put in motion preplanned maneuvers and activate predefined protocols.
The Armed Forces would have already been trained in these protocols and maneuvers, so when the time comes, the forces shall apply them. Everyone knows their roles & actions by-heart and operate through muscle memory. Everything happens like clockwork.
When war is approaching, time is of the essence. There’s precious little time between detection and reaction.
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Likewise, our CM must be trained to detect the urge that originates from the SM.
Whenever an urge is detected, it’s threat level must be determined, and immediately predefined protocol must be activated. There’s precious little time before the CM will lose control and the SM will take over. By then, it’s too late because SM will only relinquish control AFTER the urge has been sated.
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So you should define DEFCON protocols, train both your CM and your SM, and maintain constant vigilance regarding threat activity.
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———}}}}}}—Comfort Blanket / Quick Dopamine Hit———{{{{{{—
This is a short 2-5 minute activity that you’re passionate about; will be able to stop after the 5 mins and go about your day. Whenever you get an uncontrollable urge, train your CM to detect it and immediately jump to this – it will distract your SM from the porn urge, and most importantly will give it some dopamine to keep it temporarily happy. It may not be the mega meal that it wanted through porn. But this will be a tasty snack that will keep it sated.
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———}}}}}}—The Two Wolves / Deliberate Neglect———{{{{{{—
This is a more advanced approach – will need more training, especially using Comfort Blankets before graduating to this.
When you have an urge, don't react to it. Don't engage with it. Don't try to think of something else. Don't even flinch.
JUST IGNORE IT. It shall automatically fade away.
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No urge can stay if you don't feed it. Having urges isn't your fault, but feeding them certainly is on you.
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PostScript:
And a sign of how I have grown is that initially when I started out, I was using a Comfort Blanket. But later on I took the "Two Wolves" approach.
So when I came onto the Conquered Self, I kept preaching The Two Wolves approach but people didn't take it or they failed trying.
Then I realized that the Two Wolves is only recommended for experienced NoFappers, and I had forgotten that I too had originally used a Comfort Blanket. So I refined my system.
So everyone takes time to grow - there's no shame in losing. Train yourself harder in applying the system. Analyze failures, identify weaknesses, and keep improving.
