Today I got hit with a thought I hadn’t felt in a while: “It would feel good to get hard again.”
Usually, I shut that thought down instantly — I know where it leads. But this time… before I realized it, I was already an hour deep into a rabbit hole of thirst traps on TikTok.
Endless videos of beautiful women, seductive voices, curves, and perfect angles — all pretending to be intimate, to be with me. More stimulation in an hour than I’ve seen in real life all year. My brain jumped on it like it was finally getting what it craved.
But the truth is — it’s fake.
After the video ends, it’s just me and the emptiness again. So I scroll to the next, and the next. And then the brain starts pushing for more… for that full dopamine hit, that orgasm.
That’s when I realized: I was sliding back into the old script.
The cycle: see a trap → get horny → binge more → jump to porn → orgasm → regret.
But today…
I broke it.
I stopped before it escalated.
I didn’t cross the line.
And I’m proud of that.
This wasn’t about winning easily. I felt like I was drowning. But instead of hating myself or numbing out — I snapped out of it. And that’s growth.
I still regret the lost time, yeah. But I’m grateful I didn’t relapse.
Normally, I’d be pissed at myself for even slipping.
Today… I’m proud that I interrupted the cycle.
I’m healing. Slowly. But I’m waking up.
We don't need to be perfect.
We just need to stay conscious.
And keep choosing better — even if it’s late. Even if it’s hard.
Stay strong, brothers. You're not alone.
